Didn't anyone tell you that you wanted to sleep with me?!?! I thought you knew...

Do you know the difference between my penis and a chicken leg? No??? Well, let's go on a picnic and find out!

Do you sleep on your stomach? [any answer] Can I?

Excuse me, but would you like an orally stimulated orgasm

Excuse me, have I fucked you yet?

Excuse me. Do you want to fuck or should I apologize?

Fancy a fuck?

Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist.

Fuck me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before?

Fuck me if I am wrong, but you want to screw me, don't you?

Fuck me if I'm wrong, but don't you want to kiss me?

Fuck me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Laura?

Goup to a girl at a bar or a dance and ask her: do you want a fuck(wait for a second gauging her reaction)...ing drink?�

Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears? (Pull your pockets inside out....) Would you like to?

Hey babe, how about a pizza and a fuck? [Slap] HEY! What's wrong, don't you like pizza?

Hey Baby! I'd like to use your thighs as earmuffs.

Hey Baby! I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag!

Hey baby, I want to lick your thighs.

Hey baby, wanna go halves on a bastard?

Hey baby, wanna play lion? OK. You go kneel right there and I'll throw you my meat.

Hey baby, whatdya say we go behind that rock and get a little boulder?!?

Hey I am a wrestler, let me take you down.

Hey, baby, wanna lock crotches and swap gravy?

Hi, do you want to have my children? (assuming the answer is 'no'), OK then, can we just practice?

Hi, I'm a tawdry slut looking for a good time.

Hi, I'm not trying to pressure you, I don't want to have sex without mutual consent; and by the way, you have my consent.

Hi, my name is {name}, I like peanut butter, wanna fuck?

Hi,wanna fuck? Her: No! Mind lying down while I have one?

I am a magical being, take off your bra.

I love you. I want to marry you. Now fuck my brains out.

I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?

I must expel some seminal fluid. May I use your body?

I think we have to make love on the front lawn like crazed weasels NOW!

I wanna put my thingy into your thingy.

I want to thank you for [insert any event here], grab your ankles bitch!

I'd like to tie you to a rafter and fuck you up and down.

I'd love to swap bodily fluids with you.

I'm gonna have sex with you tonight so, you might as well be there.

If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.

Let's bypass all the bullshit and just get naked.

Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway.

My name's [your name], but you can call me "lover."

My name's [your name]That's so you know what to scream.

Nice shoes, wanna fuck?

Nice socks. Can I try them on after we have sex?

Nice tits. Mind if I feel them?

Oh, you're a bird watcher....(Whip out your unit and ask) Well, would you take this for a swallow?

Sex is a killer...want to die happy?

Since we shouldn't waste this day and age what you say we use these condoms in my pocket before they expire.

Take an ice cube to the bar, smash it, and say, "Now that I've broken the ice, will you sleep with me?"

Take off that dress and fuck my brains out, you cave newt.

The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to fuck you on the floor.

The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word.

Wanna fuck like bunnies?

We're going to dance to one song, then go back to my apartment and fuck.

What can I do to make you sleep with me?

What do you say we go back to my room and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.

I wish you were a screen door..... [Why?] So I can slam you all day long!

Whadda you say we go get liquored up and rape each other?

Your place or mine? Tell you what? I'll flip a coin. Head at my place, tail at yours.

I'd like to get between your legs and eat my way straight to your heart...

Nice legs, lets eat out.

Hey! Wanna play war? (replies)WHAT? (you)Yea, I lay on the ground and you blow the fuck outta me!

If we were both squirrels, would you let me bust a nut in your hole?

You touch his shirt and ask, "Is this cotton?" Wait for response. Then touch down in the crotch area and say, "Oh, this must be felt."

Hi my name is(your name), did I mention I have a penis.

My dick's been feeling a little dead lately. Wanna give it some mouth-to-mouth?

Are you going to the party tonight (what party?) The one in your mouth, everybody's cumming.

If I take off my clothes, will you fuck me?

If I told you I had a 2 inch dick would you fuck me? (if she says no) say Good, because mine is 8 inchs.

I know where ther is a good party, they've got liquor in the front and poker in the rear.

Oh my God! I think I love you! Now lay down!

Hey good lookin', whatcha got cookin'? Nuthin could be finer than the taste of your vagina!

I'd rip out both my eyes just so you have more holes to screw me in

Dah, wanna see my dink?

(silently mouth) I want a fig newton.

Do you have a beard on your pussy/asshole? (No.) Want one?

Your chest looks a little sore. Would you like me to numb it?

Do you wanna lick my tongue?

Hello. I have sex on the first date. Do you?

Do you like apples? (Yes.) How about I take you home and fuck the shit out of you. How do like them apples?

Do you like jewels? (Yes.) Suck my dick, it's a gem.

Person #1: hey, you wanna do a 68? Person #2: What? Person #1: You go down, and I'll owe you one.

Mean people suck, nice people swallow. I'm nice.

Scientists have determined that the average time for intercourse is four minutes. The average number of strokes per minute is nine, and since the average length of thepenis is six inches, the average female received two hundred and sixteen inches or fifteen feet per intercourse. Three times per week, fifty two weeks in a year, so, 150 times 18 makes 2700 feet, or just over a mile and a half. If you are not getting your mile and a half, why not let me help out?

Tell me how my cum tastes.

First, I'd like to kiss you passionately on the lips, then, I'll move up to your belly button.

I've got a great big cock!

You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I like Spaghetti, Let's go fuck!

Your lips are kinda wrinkled. Mind if I press them?

Do you cheesy lines or do you just want to do it?

May i pleasure you with my tongue?

Wanna go 50-50 on a rape charge?

I have a big headache. I hear the best cure for headaches is sex. What say we go upstairs and work out a remedy.

(walk up to the bar and sit down in the seat next to them. While looking at them, order a drink and drink it down) Well, we can't fuck here!

Fuck me, I'm beautiful enough to be with you all night.

So, Is it safe to say I'm gonna score?

Hi I'm (your name) I swallow

I just checked my schedule and I can have you pregnant by Christmas.

Mines bigger than his want proof?

I got a 14 inch cock, why don't you come home with me and I'll let you ride it.

You are rubber, I'm glue, what ever you say, I bet I will fuck you.

Looks don't matter, I'll just wrap you in a flag and fuck you for glory.

I'm like Domino's Pizza. If I don't cum in 30 minutes, the next one is free.

I would fuck you so hard, you'd learn from it.

Do you like my belt buckle? (any response is okay ) It would look better against your forehead!

Do you wanna come to the Marines, or would your rather have a Marine come into you?

Happy hour's over but it's still going strong at my place.

Whip it out and show me what you got, so I can save the disappointment from later.

Do you have any tacos on you? (No.) In that case, will you make out with me?

Would you fuck a complete stranger? (No) Then Hi, my name is...

Are you gay? (No.) Wow, me neither, let's have sex.

Hi. Last night, a little leprechaun came up to me and told me that if you don't have sex with me tonight, your(or my) dick is going to fall off. We don't want that now do we?

I'm conducting a survey on the taste of vaginas. Wanna be my first participant?

If I washed my dick, would you suck it? (No.) Oh, so you like to suck dirty dicks.

Let's go fuck in a brand new limo.

Look out in the night sky. You see that bright light to the right of that red one? That is a comet that is streaking toward here at 34546 miles per hour. At that rate, it will be here in about an hour. So, wanna fuck?